This is for you Ellie, and your graphic thoughts on garden tools.

Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

That’s what I thought it was like to have a baby while growing up as a boy. I wonder if that’s also what mothers tell their little girls when they give them their first baby doll.

If you want to stop youth pregnancy. “Nip it in the bud” so to speak, just mention the hedge clipper birth proceedure.

At that first magical birthday party with all their friends circled around the stage, and the magician pulls a huge pair of garden sheers out of the hat and says “This is how you have kids, kids!”

You are a very brave girl if you prefer that to a vaginal birth. That said, you are a very brave girl for wanting to have kids at all.

I know I can’t know exactly what it’s like to have a child come clawing and screaching out of me. But I have been there, hands on, in the delivery rooms of at least seven of the births of my kids, and my kids kids. The whole time I have been building a huge storehouse for all the empathy I have for the birthing mother. There is nothing closer to hell than the violent painful act of giving birth.

Now back to the fact that you would rather have the hedge sheer proceedure than a vaginal birth. I keep thinking this girl is nuts! But then I see this Harbor Freight add poking out of this pile of paper work on my desk, and what has to be the coolest cordless 36 volt hedge clippers ever built, and I’m thinking maybe it could work.

Old guy. Ex Democrat. Believer in karma. I’ll get mine! You’ll get yours!

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