Please could you send me a large enough chunk of your money to sit in my account allowing me to live off the interest?
In return I will give everything you write 50 claps. Every single day I will be there waiting to clap. For ever, until I die or my internet gets turned off. Once I'm in the ground you can just put it back in your account.
I worked hard all my life until my body broke. I thought if I just worked a bit harder my overlords would recognize my exceptional value and draft me into their club. Nope.
But now I see that wealth is indeed a hand out, and I'm asking you please to hand me some. I am not trying to really cost you anything. Just think of it as if you left a unneeded chunk of cash in the pocket of your jeans, and forgot about them laying behind the bathroom door. One day I die, and you find those jeans. "Oh there they are" you'll say to yourself while putting the cash back in the bank. This is a fairly short term request, as I am old, and the covid could find me at any moment.
You may think I'm joking. Think again. I just wanted to be the first to ask. As far as I can tell, I am. Thank you in advance for at least pondering on this request for a moment.
Your maniacally clapping friend Danny.