Do you really look like that? I mean would I recognize you on the street? If you were ever out on the street. You could use a little trim. Straighten those ends right up. And don’t call me mom. I hate when people call me that just because I notice all the little details that would make them better people. You do want to be able to get a real job right?

I know you think being a writer-er is important, but think of the impact you could have with a cute hairdo, a paisley pantsuit, and some sensible shoes.